diff --git a/blog.json b/blog.json index 361b66a..a23e52d 100644 --- a/blog.json +++ b/blog.json @@ -593,6 +593,12 @@ "content": "hi\n\nim fucking exhausted from today, i mean not that it was physical or anything, its\nliteral saturday and ive been just too depressed to get out of bed, although a thing made\nit much worse and almost pushed me into a panic attack\n\nbasically a friend of mine has been threatening to contact a person i like a lot recently,\nlike sure, thats fine, idc, but she always makes it seem so creepy, like she wants to make me\nlook like a stalker, but especially today, she wrote a love letter and threatened me to send it,\ni begged that she wouldnt and yeah, then she actually sent it and said it had my name on it\nand i believed it as the original one had my name in it and all, she already threatened me to do it,\nshe threatened other times to contact him for me ( like one time, which also sounded so creepy\nwas when she wanted to *'scare'* him into talking to me, like imagine how creepy that would be ) ...\ni went full panic mode, first depression came but then my anxiety and anger took over, i told her\nto go fuck herself ( including the rest of the people who saw this happen ) and went away to try to cope,\nmusic never helps so i scrapped that, then i went to hit my head, that just made me nauseous, then\ni looked for more coping mechanisms but i was too tense to be able to look at everything at detail,\ni was pulling my hair to release some tension, but yeah, guess what she did next, she fucking told me\nshe didnt do it and put her name instead, like omfg, did she just want to play with my feelings\nor something, play with me like a toy, im very sensitive and i told everyone that multiple times,\nshe knows how i reacted to other of her attempts, etc. i felt horrible and even more anger took me\nover but at that point ( even though it was only like 10 mins ) i was too tired to scream, then\nmore depression and remorse came over me so i apologized\n\n( for context i always magically feel like shit in history lessons ) this friday ( aka yesterday )\ni had history, like always i felt a bit poo but its fine, nothing unusual, the lesson went as usual,\nthe subject we went over went ok, next lesson ( i had 2 histories in a row ) we had to do some tasks,\nsure, i started doing them, i did almost all of them but he ( being my history teacher ) kept talking\nabout some map, like i knew what map but he gave us some task, i was confused, i asked him what the task\nit, instead of telling me like a normal person, he begun shouting, he took a classmates work and shoved\nit in my face, shouting how 'i was supposed to do this' like wtf am i supposed to get out of a\ncoloured map, then he told me, we were meat to colour parts of the map ... THAT WERE ALREADY FUCKING\nCOLOURED OMFG, after that, when i was hurrying to do it as i was embarrassed and hurt already he told\nmy friend, which was sitting next to me, to give me her work or smt, at this point i was feeling horrible,\nbut oh well, i refused and i told him to stop being like this, 'its fine, i didnt ask for it, stop, please\nstop' trying to make his ass stop bc i felt tears coming in, he did stop, good, after that i asked her\nfor her work so i could do it quicker anyway as i felt shit enough already from history and now the teacher\nwith added embarrassment, the lesson ended, i walked out of the school feeling like garbage, its fine\nthough\n\nthen, on thursday, we had religion class, the whole day they were taking stuff from a person, shes\nkinda quarter friend, but that day it pissed me off, she kept talking and talking abt it, we also\ntalked more than usual that day, etc. and it annoyed me, so basically, in religion class the friend\ndidnt have her phone, i had a chance to take the phone from the person who stole it ( bc omg i found\nit so fucking annoying ) so i took the chance, i walked up and tried to take her phone from him ( the\nperson who stole it ), i failed but oh well, went back to my seat, after that the most annoying motherfucker\nout there, i wont say his name but lets call him p ( so him, p, etc. dont mix ), p decided to make a comment\nhow i need a psychiatrist and even 'offering' to take me there, i just replied that i already have one\n( as i do ), i said 'yeah ? to g, shes a fucking bitch' i said ( assume g is my psychiatrist ),\nthen there, as a classmate who has the same name as g said 'im not ur psychiatrist' and i said something\nalong the lines of 'cool, shes kinda a bitch, yalls personality kinda resembles', like i dont like g ( the classmate )\noverall, but i can bare her, she pissed me off so i just said how it is, anyway, that was a fucking\nmistake and in conclusion to this day, i need to mind my own business and stop getting annoyed when the\nsame fucking person talks about the same thing over and over again lol, i have a bad habit of taking action\ninto my own hands if it bothers me, anyway\n\non tuesday and wednesday as far as i remember nothing much happened and same for monday as once again i just\nspent my day in bed, depressed, as i didnt have school\n\nmoving a week forward, on wednesday, omg, once again, the music teacher being an annoying bitch,\nshe has a habit of being entitled and being sure she did something when for a fact she didnt, like\none time she said she definitely told us to learn parts of mass ( as in christian mass ) as a music\ngenre, sanctus or whatnot, when she fucking didnt, she didnt, nobody knew that and the max grade was 9\nlmao ( we use 1-10 here ), now this time, once again during a test, we only had listened to 10 songs\nbut she gave us a test from 20, although this time she was a bit more sane and gave us time to listen\nto the songs we need and told us that we can write next week, but she still insisted she told us and that\nwe listened to every song, when in fact we only had listened to 10 of them, oh well, next week we wrote it\nand it went ok, i got a 9, possibly bc i mistook song #11, but i dont know, well see next week\n\nnow, some misc things that happened and i dont remember when\n\n- some day school psychologist made a microsoft teams group ( as were forced to use that piece of shit )\n with a few mentally unstable people in school, including me, in a month were having days where we have no school\n but we do practice work and stuff, so she suggested for us, unstable people, to join, actually i might lol,\n all other lessons sound like shit and i dont want to work that hard during those days, psychology will be like\n self discovery and stuff, i found that funny how in a school of like 420 or smt people i was added there,\n- i finished reading 1984, i enjoyed it, i presented it and this week i gave my work to the teacher to\n rate and stuff, well see how it turns out, hoping its fine\n- i havent done serious code in a while so thinking about developing something, maybe a package manager ( maybe\n even some linux distro from scratch ), maybe a programming language or smt, i kinda want to work on something\n bc i feel like im losing motivation lol and idk\n- i have *a lot* of tests coming up, like almost 2 weeks straight of tests lol, horrible, im terrified,\n i had such thing before already, i did horribly, i got such bad grades from all of them because i was overwhelmed\n by so many tests, this will probably be the same, lovely\n- i dropped my daily calorie intake, wont give any numbers, but my body isnt taking it well, i mean it was\n small before, but its even smaller, am not able to maintain it that good, like i dont go over the limit\n but i feel worse, like today i stood up and just fell to the ground like a bag of bones\n- overall, im losing my life more and more, i quit therapy and stuff ( ive talked about it before ),\n so im just there losing my last hope lol, oh well, too bad\n\nanyway, hope this wasnt too painful to read, for fun me and my friends read some fanfics and omg theyre\nso badly written i cant, hope u dont have the same exp here, til next time\n", "time": 1683387064.832547, "keywords": "doml day of my life dayofmylife diary teacher school test tests stress mental health depression anorexia friend stress love crush crushculture threatening mad insane" + }, + "feel-cool-reported-bug-company-got-paid-100": { + "title": "I feel cool, i reported a bug to [company] and got paid 100$", + "content": "hello world,\n\ni will redact the name of the [company]s name as i dont want people\nto go probe their product, anyway, the company is worth quite a bit ( in the multi milions )\nfro what ive searched so that makes me feel even cooler\n\nbasically, im 15, i used to lie abt my age that im 16 but yeah, im 15, i found\na bug in the [company]s product and i got a reply, we chatted for a short while\nand basically at the end i got this response\n\n> Hello,\n>\n> Thanks for your reply. Dev was aware of this issue, but fixing it wasn't a priority, yet. We've been growing so more and more people will try to find ways to misuse our service.\n>\n> We don't have a bug bounty program, but our founder would like to give you $100 for your effort.\n>\n> Do you have a PayPal account we can send that to?\n>\n> Thanks again!\n> [name]\n\nwhich made me feel accomplished kinda, i mean i cant accept it as im 15 and yall already\nknow how good, amazing, lovely, loving, non abusive, great, perfect, super my relationship\nis with my mother ( which is the only person which i can borrow a credit card from as i dont\nhave my own ) and the devs already knew the issue so not like i can accept it anyway\nwithout feeling bad, so yeah, its fine\n\ni just wanted to share bc this is one of those moments that made me feel accomplished in\nsomething lol, its nothing huge, i mean im happy i was able to report it and that they decided\nim worth 100 dollars lol, but yeah, just a cool thing i did and i dont think many 15 year olds\nhave done it, anyway, i just responded with :\n\n> oh, woah, i feel accomplished,\n>\n> im 15 so i cant rlly even have a paypal account, my mother and i dont have the best relationship either so i dont rlly even have an alternative, so yeah, its okay, devs were aware of it anyway\n>\n> thanks for the offer a lot and this will def go into my memory book, thank you for making me a cool 15 yo developer lmfao\n>\n> have a great day, [name],\n> thank u for dealing with my informality, i hope i at least could\n> help a little bit <3\n\nso ye, a cool moment in my life ig, lovely\n\ncya :)\n", + "time": 1683488539.601437, + "keywords": "company bug bounty money teen developer report bug vulnerability email 100 cool" } } } \ No newline at end of file