diff --git a/blog.json b/blog.json index 75b80fd..aefbf05 100644 --- a/blog.json +++ b/blog.json @@ -317,7 +317,7 @@ "doml-6-2023-06-27": { "title": "doml #6 -- 2023/06/27", "description": "doml #6 -- school, eating disorders, more school, just ew stuff in general", - "content": "\ud83e\udd9e crab\n\nsorry for not updating yall for this long, i just dont have the energy to do anything lol\n\nanyway, stuff that happened throughout the month+ that i havent written about my boring life lol,\n\nmost major thing what happened -- gave eating disorder recovery a try, as ive mentioned before, i\nstruggle with anorexia, so i tried recovery, uh, that didnt go well, i tried at 05/28 and gave up\nat 06/10, i had no energy, i felt like shit physically and mentally, genuinely piss, i hated every\nsecond of it lol, it was torture, im basically stuck in it even though it doesnt bring me any\njoy anymore, i mean its a 24/7 coping mechanism that keeps me from going insane lol, once i started\nrecovery i had 2 friends who rlly helped, but its not enough as bad as it sounds, i need medicine or\nsomething, i dont want to go to a lithuanian mental health hospital, its hell there with anorexia,\nthey feed u 2000 kcal shakes, through tubes if needed, mentally they do shit and overall its just\nhorrible from what ive heard lol, overall it sucks, but oh well, back to anorexia i guess\n\nanother major thing happened -- end of academic yr; at the end we had a shitload of tests, i felt\noverwhelmed and not good, did cry abt it ( skill issue frfr ), next yr ill be a 10 th grader, which\nmeans i had to pick an annual project to work on for school, subject i picked was psychology, more\nabt it in the future probably, its basically going to be a study of emotional health in the\nschool\n\nat around the same time the annual city event was happening, i hated it too, i feel like shit\nafter shit like that lol\n\nat the end of the academic yr, like last 2 ( ? ) weeks we had practical study days where we\njust do shit and as i picked biology and chem ( joined ) i did that --\n\n- first day was going to the water cleaning centre or whatever in my city in hot sun, which was fun ig\n- second day ( which in the first half i wasnt in ) was me going to another water cleaning thing 8 km\n away from the city\n- third day was work from home, took like 10-20 mins iirc it was just some chem thing, at the time\n the recovery shit was hitting me hard and i had so little energy i just wanted to get rid of my organs\n so i wouldnt waste my last energy on that as weird as it sounds\n- fourth day was us going to the baltic sea, i hated that day the most, felt like shit, didnt want to be there\n and overall i hated it, never again, i just ew, bad, no, gross, vomit inducing even\n- day five was my favourite, it was like 1 min work -- \"create a math problem related to bio+chem PSD\", so i did lol\n\noverall it was ew\n\nat 06/09-10 i worked on painting my laptop lol, its basically a space fight between linux, windows and macos\nand linux is winning, best i can describe it in text i guess and am not motivated enough to photograph it rn,\nmaybe some other day but not now lol, i painted it with acrylic paint and did the sketch with a white pencil,\ni like it i guess\n\nnext days werent rlly eventful, it was random school shit and i did nothing as i was a dysfunctional\nvegetable, still am but getting better, then the summer break started fr and i made a friend as a concert\nhappened and one of my friends forced me to come basically, although im glad, i got to make a new friend\nand honestly shes fun, i probably did more with her throughout a week than i did with most people in a yr lol\nbut oh well\n\nhonestly id write more, but i just dont care enough to, i dont have the energy, brain power or anything to\ncontinue ranting abt my boring ass life, goodnight\n", + "content": "\ud83e\udd9e crab\n\nsorry for not updating yall for this long, i just dont have the energy to do anything lol\n\nanyway, stuff that happened throughout the month+ that i havent written about my boring life lol,\n\nmost major thing what happened -- gave eating disorder recovery a try, as ive mentioned before, i\nstruggle with anorexia, so i tried recovery, uh, that didnt go well, i tried at 05/28 and gave up\nat 06/10, i had no energy, i felt like shit physically and mentally, genuinely piss, i hated every\nsecond of it lol, it was torture, im basically stuck in it even though it doesnt bring me any\njoy anymore, i mean its a 24/7 coping mechanism that keeps me from going insane lol, once i started\nrecovery i had 2 friends who rlly helped, but its not enough as bad as it sounds, i need medicine or\nsomething, i dont want to go to a lithuanian mental health hospital, its hell there with anorexia,\nthey feed u 2000 kcal shakes, through tubes if needed, mentally they do shit and overall its just\nhorrible from what ive heard lol, overall it sucks, but oh well, back to anorexia i guess\n\nanother major thing happened -- end of academic yr; at the end we had a shitload of tests, i felt\noverwhelmed and not good, did cry abt it ( skill issue frfr ), next yr ill be a 10 th grader, which\nmeans i had to pick an annual project to work on for school, subject i picked was psychology, more\nabt it in the future probably, its basically going to be a study of emotional health in the\nschool\n\nat around the same time the annual city event was happening, i hated it too, i feel like shit\nafter shit like that lol\n\nat the end of the academic yr, like last 2 ( ? ) weeks we had practical study days where we\njust do shit and as i picked biology and chem ( joined ) i did that --\n\n- first day was going to the water cleaning centre or whatever in my city in hot sun, which was fun ig\n- second day ( which in the first half i wasnt in ) was me going to another water cleaning thing 8 km\n away from the city\n- third day was work from home, took like 10-20 mins iirc it was just some chem thing, at the time\n the recovery shit was hitting me hard and i had so little energy i just wanted to get rid of my organs\n so i wouldnt waste my last energy on that as weird as it sounds\n- fourth day was us going to the baltic sea, i hated that day the most, felt like shit, didnt want to be there\n and overall i hated it, never again, i just ew, bad, no, gross, vomit inducing even\n- day five was my favourite, it was like 1 min work -- \"create a math problem related to bio+chem PSD\", so i did lol\n\noverall it was ew\n\nat 06/09-10 i worked on painting my laptop lol, its basically a space fight between linux, windows and macos\nand linux is winning, best i can describe it in text i guess and am not motivated enough to photograph it rn,\nmaybe some other day but not now lol, i painted it with acrylic paint and did the sketch with a white pencil,\ni like it i guess\n\nnext days werent rlly eventful, it was random school shit and i did nothing as i was a dysfunctional\nvegetable, still am but getting better, then the summer break started, which is when a friend forced me\nout to a concert lol, wont elaborate further\n\nhonestly id write more, but i just dont care enough to, i dont have the energy, brain power or anything to\ncontinue ranting abt my boring ass life, goodnight", "keywords": [ "doml", "ari-web-doml", @@ -357,7 +357,8 @@ "so", "piss" ], - "created": 1687816034.886614 + "created": 1687816034.886614, + "edited": 1698094916.62982 }, "transgender": { "title": "transgender",