4chan/clippy.html
2025-04-17 14:46:47 -05:00

77 lines
4 KiB
HTML

<style type="text/css">
.clippy {text-align:left; z-index:300;position:absolute;font-family: tahoma, verdana; font-size: 11px;}
.balloon {background: url(//s.4cdn.org/image/bubble.gif); width: 280px; height: 300px;}
.balloon-text {padding: 40px; text-align: left;}
.clippy-img {margin-left: 155px;}
</style>
<div class="clippy" id="clippybox" style="display:none">
<div class="balloon"><div class="balloon-text"><div id="clippy-insert-into"> </div><input type="checkbox">Don't show me this tip again</input></div></div>
<img class="clippy-img" src="//s.4cdn.org/image/Sticky2.gif" />
</div>
<script type="text/javascript">
var clippy, clippy_text, com, email, filename;
var introtext = "Hello, I'm Sticky, the 4chan assistant.<br/>";
function idle() {
}
function helpful() {
var text = com.value, etxt = email.value, filetxt = filename.value;
if (filetxt.search(/[0-9]{12,13}/) >= 0)
clippy_text.innerHTML = "It looks like you're reposting an old image.<br>Would you like help?<br><br><ul><li>Get help posting original content</li><li>Continue killing 4chan by myself</li></ul>";
else if (filetxt.search(/C:\\WINDOWS\\/i) >= 0)
clippy_text.innerHTML = "It looks like you're posting from your \"hidden\" porn folder.<br>Would you like help?<br><br><ul><li>Get help moving into my own house</li><li>Just live in the basement without help</li></ul>";
else if (text.search(/MODS=/) >= 0)
clippy_text.innerHTML = "It looks like you're posting \"MODS=FAGS\".<br>Would you like help?<br><br><ul><li>Get help with my anger issues</li><li><a href=\"http://wakaba.c3.cx\">Get help starting my own /b/ ripoff</a></li></ul>";
else if (text.search(/[a-z]/) == -1 && text.length >= 4)
clippy_text.innerHTML = "It looks like your capslock key is broken.<br>Would you like help?<br><br><ul><li>Get help <a href=\"http://www.ebay.com/\">finding a new keyboard</a></li><li>Just type the post without help</li></ul>";
else if (text.search(/moar/i) >= 0 || text.search(/lulz/i) >= 0 || text.search(/rule 34/i) >= 0)
clippy_text.innerHTML = "It looks like you're a moron.<br>Would you like help?<br><br><ul><li>Get help <a href=\"http://ninjawords.com/more\">learning to spell</a></li><li>Just type the post without help</li></ul>";
else if (etxt.search(/sage/) >= 0)
clippy_text.innerHTML = "It looks like you don't like this thread!<br>Maybe you shouldn't read it?";
else if (text.search(/fag/i) >= 0)
clippy_text.innerHTML = "It looks like you're calling someone a fag.<br>Would you like help?<br><br><ul><li>Get help <a href=\"http://orz.4chan.org/y/imgboard.html\">finding myself</a></li><li>Just type the post without help</li></ul>";
else clippy_text.innerHTML = "Would you like help with:<br><ul><li><a href=\"javascript:void(com.value='DICK BUTT')\">Trolling</a></li><li>Finding copypasta</li><li>Being arrested</li><li><a href=\"http://www.4chan.org/rules.php\">Complaining about rules</a></li><li>Being wapanese</li></ul>";
setTimeout(idle, 15000);
}
function remove_listeners(fn) {
com.removeEventListener("keyup", fn, false);
email.removeEventListener("keyup", fn, false);
filename.removeEventListener("keyup", fn, false);
}
function add_listeners(fn) {
/*com.addEventListener("keyup", fn, false);
email.addEventListener("keyup", fn, false);
filename.addEventListener("keyup", fn, false);*/
com.onkeyup = email.onkeyup = filename.onchange = fn;
}
function intro() {
clippy_text.innerHTML = introtext;
clippy.style.display = "";
//remove_listeners(intro);
setTimeout('add_listeners(helpful);helpful();', 3500);
}
clippy = document.getElementById("clippybox");
clippy_text = document.getElementById("clippy-insert-into");
clippy.style.top = 100+'px';
clippy.style.right = 20+'px';
com = document.getElementsByName("com")[0];
email = document.getElementsByName("email")[0];
filename = document.getElementsByName("upfile")[0];
add_listeners(intro);
</script>